You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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