If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
