What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
