dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
