she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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