Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
