he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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