I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
