After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
