forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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