Having a random hookup so left but love u
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
