Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
