it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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