I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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