so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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