you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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