Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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