When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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