TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
