can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Found the puke drawer
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
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