what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
false alarm, still single
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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