I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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