Whod you bang
You just made me feel so damn special
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
