So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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