Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
