I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
