He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
