I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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