Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
