At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
