and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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