everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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