Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Randomize
