my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
