Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
