i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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