i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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