Can Purell be used as lube?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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