You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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