he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
