why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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