i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
