i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
