News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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