There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You were trust falling into bushes
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
