you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
