I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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