the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
