Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
