I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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