I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
