I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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