her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
