Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
